It is certainly possible to be in a relationship with a sex addict and not see it at first. Sex addiction is like a poisonous plant which grows best in the soil of deception and secrecy. Most sex addicts experience a great deal of shame and guilt over their behavior and thus have become expert at hiding what they do from others. The following questions can help you gauge the likelihood that your significant other is a sex addict. (We are using masculine pronouns for the sake of simplicity, but keep in mind women can also suffer from a sex addiction.)
If you answer Yes to 3 or more questions, there is a strong likelihood that your significant other is suffering from a sex addiction. You may benefit from setting up an appointment with us to further explore this issue.
- Does he seem preoccupied by sexual behavior or sexual thoughts?
- Does his sexual behavior seem out of control to you?
- Does he criticize you or try to make your feel crazy if you question his
- Has his sexual behavior caused you emotional damage?
- Is he secretive about his phone and computer use?
- Does he lie/deceive you about his sexual behavior?
- Do you feel emotionally distant from him most of the time?
- Does he spend a great deal of time viewing pornography?
- Do you find him masturbating frequently even when you’re sexually available?
If you feel your partner is open to looking honestly at himself, you can share these results and suggest he set up an appointment with us, or you both can come together for the first interview if he is comfortable with that.
Partners of sex addicts often experience great emotional pain and distress upon discovery of the addiction. As a result, they can benefit from counseling themselves as part of their own healing process.